So I randomly wake up this morning at 2am for no apparent reason, and by no apparent reason I mean I was drunk all yesterday afternoon and crashed at about 8pm. I was iphoning while sitting on the toilet (where all great browsing experiences originate from) and came across this exceptionally well written post about an aspiring journalist who got “WEEZY F” tatted on his inner lip. He has since stopped updating his blog, which is unfornate but he has probably been hired by some hipster magazine as his writing is that good. Anyway he details his reasoning for getting the tat as being because people get dumb tats all the time: nike symbols, unicorns, stars, angels. Basically stuff that doesn’t mean much. To him, Lil Wayne’s music has effected him so much that it meant getting the guy’s name tatted inside his inner lip. Keep in mind this is a guy whose parents are making him go to law school. So he isn’t a dumb guy.

Later on in the day, I find this article from Vice about a crackhead chick who got Drake’s name embolden on her forehead in some ugly looking varsity font. Now what would possess her to do such a thing? Thankfully Vice tracked down the tattoo artist that ruined her chances of getting a job (though it’s likely she’s never held any gainful employment). Anyway, this got me thinking about tats, since I don’t have any. And all my favorite rappers have some tats. Kanye has his breakout songs tatted on his arm, Drake has some gay Owl and wings on his back, and every Southern rapper has so many that you can’t really make out what the hell is going on.

I wanted a tat. At least I wanted to entertain the thought of getting one, so I did some research and by research I mean googling “tattoo good or bad” and clicking on the second article that popped up. After seeing I could get HIV, blow up an MRI machine, get infected, have an allergic reaction that turns me into The Fly. I decided it’s probably not a good idea.